O Worship the LORD in the Beauty of Holiness

DATING

Parents are filled with apprehension when they learn that their teenaged children are in a dating relationship. They are concerned that their children’s academic studies will be affected and whether their maturity and readiness to be involved in a relationship are wanting. 

We acknowledge that God made man and woman for marriage. In His wisdom, He saw that it was not good that man should be alone (Genesis 3:18). Therefore, He created a woman out of his rib. It is therefore natural if you are attracted to the opposite gender as opposed to the unnatural affection which He condemns when one longs for his or her own gender (Romans 1:26,27).

The definition of dating varies. It can mean you are going on dates to explore the relationship, or you are dating because you are serious about the relationship with a view of marriage. The latter usually refers to courtship.

When dating is done without commitment and merely for the thrill of it, for recreation or due to peer influence, it does spell trouble. Dating without commitment may be premised on everything that is physical. The two persons involved allow the needs and passions of the moment to take centre stage. Purity, true love and commitment are thrown out of the window and replaced by lust, hurt and frivolity. Inevitably, they are exposed to the attacks of Satan who like a roaring lion, seeks to destroy Christians and their testimony for Christ (1 Peter 5:8).

Thus, we need to adopt a biblical view of dating. God wants us to think differently from the worldly view of dating.

The Lordship of Christ

As we call Jesus our Lord, we have to acknowledge that He is our Saviour and Master. The apostle Paul reminded the Christians in Rome, “For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.” (Romans 14:8) He is Lord and we are His servants, it is therefore required of us to love and obey Him in all things.

This submission is never done out of a grudging heart, but a loving response to His love for us which He demonstrated on the cross of Calvary to die on our behalf and to bear the punishment for our sins. Therefore, when we wish to date a person or are dating a person, we have to acknowledge the Lordship of Christ in our lives for we belong to Him. The apostle Paul commands that in whatsoever we do, we do all to God’s glory (1 Corinthians 10:31).

The Love of Christ

By submitting to Jesus’ Lordship, we are controlled not by what feels good to us but by the fear of the Lord. As born-again believers we are to be compelled by His love (2 Corinthians 5:14).  Jesus demonstrated what true love is when He gave Himself for us (Galatians 2:20). Therefore, the purpose of being involved in a relationship is not about self-gratification. It is about self-denial and it is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us – unconditionally. Unconditional love or agape love is all about giving and not receiving.

Dating therefore is not about self-gratification. It is about laying down our desires and doing what is in that person’s best interest. It is the desire to guard that person’s purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her.

Fellowship with Others

More often than not, when a couple is dating, there is a tendency to be exclusive. It often isolates the couple from other vital relationships, such as with their family members and brethren in Christ in church. To them, the world fades into the background. They live in oblivion to what is happening around them.

Dating with commitment and maturity (courtship) looks beyond each other. They are mindful of the need to serve others in their families and in the body of Christ. Their chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

Guidelines

There are some guidelines for us to consider with regard to dating.

1. Being single is not wrong. If we have the gift of singlehood, we are able to devote ourselves to the Lord and serve Him effectively (1 Corinthians 7:1-9, 25-40).
2. Examine your heart. Am I learning to make God’s Word and not my feelings the rule and guide for my decision and relationship?
3. Am I ready for a relationship or is it because I am pressured by my peers?
4. As a man, have I approached her father or family to date her? Do I have the blessings from my parents or those who love me and care for me in my relationship? Their wisdom and viewpoint is valuable because they can view you objectively and are able to tell you your blind spots.
5. Am I ready for a commitment to this relationship? Am I spiritually mature and emotionally stable to handle a relationship especially when conflicts arise?
6. Is the person you are attracted to, a Christian and one who loves and serves the Lord (2 Corinthians 6:14, 7:39)?
7. Is it for self-gratification? Am I respecting the deep significance of physical intimacy? Sexual intimacy is an expression of the union, oneness and commitment of a man and his wife in marriage. “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).
8. Am I getting myself into temptation with sexual sin? For example, being alone together in dimly lit places, being alone with that person at home or in a room or travelling alone with each other for a vacation. Love God by obeying His commands to flee from youthful lusts and not to love the world, neither the things of the world (2 Timothy 2:22; 1 John 2:15, 16).
9. Am I aware of and ready for the responsibilities of being a husband or a wife?
10. Do I have the peace from God to pursue this relationship? Am I submitting to His will or mine?

Dating is not a change of wardrobe. It should not be an end in itself whereby it becomes a destination and not a bridge to marriage. As God’s children, we should wait upon Him and let His Word be the rule of our faith and life, and not date as the world dates. Dating should be for God’s glory.

– Rev Quek Keng Khwang

Appointments for the Week

Monday, Oct 23

        7.30 pm     ERBL: OT Poetic Books (Rev Charles Seet)

Tuesday, Oct 24

        8.00 pm     Prayer Meeting (Dn Russell Indran)

Thursday, Oct 26

      10.00 am     Ladies’ Prayer Group

        7.30 pm     ERBL: The Theology of Prayer (Pastor Tan Soon Yong)

Friday, Oct 27

        7.30 pm     MM Meeting

Saturday, Oct 28

      10.30 am     Sharon BPC’s Wedding

        3.00 pm     LTF / YLM / MM

Sunday, Oct 29

  8.00 am The Threat of the Gospel Acts 19:21-41 (Eld Chia Ah Lak)

  8.00 am Choir Practice

  9.15 am Library (Sanctuary Balcony)

  9.40 am Sunday School

10.15 am Coffee Corner

11.00 am The Threat of the Gospel Acts 19:21-41 (Eld Chia Ah Lak)

11.00 am Children’s Ministry

11.00 am Chinese Service (MPH)

12.15 pm Library (Sanctuary Balcony)

  2.30 pm Thai Service (LMH)

  4.00 pm Indonesian Service (Rm 1-6) 

Announcements

Sunday School Open Sunday: Reformation Sunday (29 Oct, 9.40am)

Topic: Returning to the Old Paths (Jeremiah 6:16)

Speaker: Bro Mok Chee Cheong

Venue: Sanctuary

All church members are invited to join the Sunday School for the Open Sunday. 

Traffic Wardens

Lifers are invited to serve our Lord as Traffic Wardens on Sunday. Kindly contact Bro Yeo HS if you are available.

LTF Camp 2023 

4-8 Dec 2023 “Peter the Man, Jesus his Lord” by Brother Joel Seah

Registration link: http://tiny.cc/LTFCamp2023eform 

Closing date: 29 Oct 2023 (Sunday)

Catechism Class for Easter Baptism on 31 March 2024 will commence on 17 December 2023 at 9.30am. Please pre-register by emailing to Church Office. Those seeking baptism, reaffirmation of faith and transfer of membership must attend the catechism class. Closing date: 10 December 2023.

Condolences

Our condolences to Bro Tan PC  and family on the passing away of his father, Tan AB, on 19 Oct 2023.

MM Thanksgiving Fellowship Meeting 25 Nov 2023; 4-7 pm 

“My Three Pillars of Life” by Rev Daniel Khoo. All are welcome. Dinner is provided. RSVP if you are joining for dinner by contacting Bro Ignatius This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.   

Registration link: http://tiny.cc/LTFCamp2023eform 

Closing date: 29 Oct 2023 (Sunday)

Strengthening Marital Relationships in the Church 

Speaker: Rev Gabriel Gan

Date: 4 & 18 Nov 2023

Time: 2.00pm to 6.00pm (followed by dinner)

Venue: Beulah MPH

Registration deadline: 20 Oct 

A nursery programme will run concurrently with the seminar for children 3-8 years old.

https://forms.gle/RrXU9nGYJ2VPjnmz6

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